(no subject)

[almostexclusivelyornery]

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.

CG: THIS IS PROBABLY THE LAST MEMO I WILL WRITE.
CCG: BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL, THERE'S PRETTY MUCH NOTHING LEFT TO SAY.
CCG: AND SECOND OF ALL, WE MIGHT ALL BE DEAD SOON.
CCG: I'M JUST HOPING SOME OF YOU IDIOTS READ THIS, AND EVEN IF YOU THINK I'M FULL OF SHIT NOW, WHEN IT ALL STARTS GOING DOWN YOU MIGHT JUST REMEMBER WHAT I SAID AND SOMEHOW SAVE YOURSELVES.
CCG: THE WORST CASE SCENARIO HAS HAPPENED.
CCG: THE CARBUNCLE OF THE RIFT HAS PASSED HER UNHOLY POWERS ON TO THE BLACK KING.
CCG: AND HER TENDRILS.
CCG: OH GOD, I THINK ONE OF THEM IS REACHING OUT FOR GAMZEE NOW.
CCG: HE SEEMS TO BE CONVINCED IT'S A RAINBOW.
CCG: AND NOW THERE ARE TWO
CCG: NO YOU HONKING SHITPANNED IDIOT IT IS NOT A DOUBLE RAINBOW!!!
CCG: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
CCG: LISTEN, I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
CCG: AND I MEAN THAT IN THE MOST DEPRESSINGLY LITERAL WAY POSSIBLE. OUR MAID HAS BAILED ON US IN OUR DARKEST HOUR.
CCG: SHE WAS ALWAYS JUST
CCG: AROUND SOMEHOW TO MONITOR OUR PROGRESS?
CCG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW THE FUCK SHE GOT EVERYWHERE HALF THE TIME.
CCG: AND NOW POOF. ROBOSCOND.
CCG: SO I GUESS THIS
CCG: IS THE END
CCG: IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING LEFT THAT'S IMPORTANT FOR THE OTHERS TO KNOW
CCG: OR THAT YOU'VE SOMEHOW LEARNED COULD SAVE US
CCG: NOW IS THE TIME.

Comments

[caligulas_aquarium]

CURRENT caligulasAquarium [CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCA: ok hold on
CCA: shut up
CCA: im sure wwhatevver youre addressin here is important but wwhatevver it is it can wwait
CCA: cause i think its up to me to make this sorta announcement
CCA: considerin i wwas the last one in contact wwith her before she
CCA: oh god
CCA: i cant evven wwrite it
CCA: im freakin out here
CCA: but no im gatherin up my prevviously lost shit momentarily to
CCA: just
CCA: ok
CCA: im good
CCA: wwhat im tryin to say here is
CCA: kans dead
CCA: i mean evverythin wwas goin fine you knoww meteors aside
CCA: then just
CCA: i wwarned her about this
CCA: i outright FORESAWW this sorta thing happenin an she didnt listen
CCA: except there wwerent no rivver a rainbowws an they certainly wwerent runnin nowwhere through space
CCA: just the remains a her corpse an copious amounts a jade blood nebulizin ovver the remains of a poorly placed projectile spearin on right through her torso
CCA: an for the record it WWASNT beautiful an heartbreakin
CCA: it wwas just heartbreakin
CCA: next time i wwarn any a you assholes about impendin doom invvolvvin your person you better listen
CCA: this right here is proof
CCA: anywway i guess thats it
CCA: i think her hivve made it in the game but i dont evven knoww if i can get dowwn there before its too late
CCA: so
CCA: yknoww
CCA: if any a you happen to find her corpse noww you knoww wwhat happened

[almostexclusivelyornery]

CCG: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
CCG: NOT THIS.
CCG: NOT NOW.
CCG: ERIDAN
CCG: JUST
CCG: IT PROBABLY ISN'T APPROPRIATE FOR ME TO SAY SHIT LIKE THIS BUT I'M GOING TO ANYWAY
CCG: PLEASE JUST DO YOUR HIGHSTRUNGBLOODED BEST TO STAY CALM FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
CCG: JUST THE NEXT FEW MINUTES.
CCG: AND
CCG: FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER ANGELS YOU PRAY TO I AM BEGGING YOU
CCG: WHEN YOU SEE HER AGAIN
CCG: DO NOT
CCG: I REPEAT DO NOT
CCG: UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
CCG: TRY TO KISS HER.
CCG: I KNOW THIS SOUNDS STRANGE, CONSIDERING SHE WILL STILL BE DEAD.
CCG: BUT THIS IS A *DIRECT* ORDER FROM YOUR LEADER.
CCG: YOUR FUTURE SELF WILL THANK YOU, I SWEAR.
CCG: ACTUALLY, HE JUST THANKED ME.
CCG: JUST
CCG: WAIT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTION OR SOMETHING, OK, I BARELY EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED.
CCG: THAT WHOLE FIT OF HYSTERIA WAS JUST SO LONG AGO.

whoops, meant pca

[caligulas_aquarium]

PCA: wwhat the fuck do you mean stay calm
PCA: howw am i meant to STAY CALM
PCA: that just aint a thing thats happenin right noww
PCA: im sure by wwhatevver point a time it is youre from evveryones ovver it an thats just great
PCA: but it aint exactly reassurin an does nothin to help me or her for that matter
PCA: in fact thats just kinda wwhat dyin does to you doesnt it
PCA: bein in said state a totally beyond help
PCA: so EXCUSE ME if im not just gonna immediately flip off the panic button just cause you said so

Ah thought sooo

[almostexclusivelyornery]

CCG: OVER IT?
CCG: OH GOD THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT'D SOUND LIKE TO YOU WOULDN'T IT
CCG: IT'S NOT LIKE THAT
CCG: JUST
CCG: IF I SAY STAY CALM ENOUGH TIMES, IT WILL STICK.
CCG: WOULD
CCG: HAHA OH GOD
CCG: WOULD *SHE* "HAVE WANTED" YOU TO ROYALLY FLIP THE FUCK OUT??
CCG: I THINK NOT.

[caligulas_aquarium]

PCA: it doesnt evven MATTER anymore wwhat she wwants
PCA: she probably wwanted a lot a stuff howw the fuck an i meant to knoww
PCA: but as i said it just dont matter noww that shes dead
PCA: i just
PCA: i dont knoww
PCA: i guess youre right anyhoww i gotta get the fuck ovver it
PCA: evven if im not yet actually ovver it
PCA: got a bunch of horrible wwinged monstrosities floatin around this bullshit planet anywway
PCA: they aint gonna kill themselvves i guess
PCA: though thatd be convvenient actually

[speakveryclearly]

PAST grimAuxiliatrix [PGA] 310 HOURS AGO responded to memo.

PGA: Did I Just Read A Mention Of Killing Angels
PGA: Come Now Weve Discussed This
PGA: I Should Have Had Less Faith In You

[caligulas_aquarium]

PCA: oh my GOD
PCA: KAN
PCA: im so sorry you gotta find out about your impendin death this wway it probably aint exactly comfortin knowwin this is comin but
PCA: trust me it seriously wwasnt through lack a tryin
PCA: did you read the part about singularly colored rivvers
PCA: if not just scroll up a bit its right there but
PCA: seriously just i dont evven knoww if sayin this wwill change anythin but
PCA: try an get into the medium faster ok
PCA: or youre gonna get a hole blasted right through you by a meteor
PCA: i mean its the smallest fuckin piece a no good space rock i evver saww wwhats evven up wwith that
PCA: howw is somethin that insignificant compared to the rest gonna fare at wwreckin the planet
PCA: its pointless is wwhat it is
PCA: little bastards just tryin to provve he can do somethin
PCA: unfortunately it turns out that wwas
PCA: wwell
PCA: through bringin about your untimely end

[speakveryclearly]

PGA: Why Dont You Just
PGA: Reread What Karkat Sent You For A Little While
PGA: Im On My Way

[caligulas_aquarium]

PCA: literally blood EVVERYWWHERE
PCA: an you knoww i kinda figured
PCA: should i do somethin
PCA: i mean am i meant to go dowwn there an do somethin about this
PCA: but then i figure is there evven anythin i CAN do
PCA: so i just had a lot a conflicted feelins about it and in the end i just sorta made safe in the top floor a this buildin
PCA: i dont knoww if this is actually some game produced rest area or somethin but its pretty fuckin quiet all around
PCA: nothin comes in here for some reason
PCA: wwhich right noww im just usin wwhile i can

[It's safe to say he just keeps typing and typing and typing until she shows up........]

[speakveryclearly]

[He probably won't even notice the lighting of the room slowly getting brighter...]

Its Not Your Fault If I Happen To Have For Some Value Of The Word Died
Thats The Providence Of Skaia
And
Maybe Something Else
Maybe My Own Nature

[caligulas_aquarium]

[NOPE.AVI

STILL TYPING

OBLIVIOUS TO ALL]

PCA: yeah wwell its still pretty lousy is wwhat it is
PCA: not evven givvin a troll a chance to do nothin about it
PCA: no guess wwhat youre gonna die
PCA: just deal wwith it
PCA: wwell maybe they dont wwanna deal wwith it
PCA: skaias so called provvidence is a pain in the ass
PCA: its more like
PCA: shitty stupid things that happen cause its a scumbag like that
PCA: just fancied up all nice like wwith a wword like provvidence
PCA: fuck provvidence
PCA: howw about i start callin all this so called shit it does by demeanin terms howws it gonna like that
PCA: cant do nothin about it this is its so called PROVVIDENCE in action
PCA: its makin me do this im totally vvoid a responsibility
PCA: sucks for you jackass you cant blame me for shit its all your owwn doin

[speakveryclearly]

[Okay YOU KNOW WHAT

SHE'S GONNA JUST PUT ONE HAND ON HER HIP

AND THE OTHER

ON THE DOORFRAME

She's here in a beautiful blue kimono (changed the fuck out of those bloody clothes after she'd fed off enough imps to have a hold of herself), she glows in the dark, and she's right behind him.]

You should read up on your fantasy instead of poring through that ridiculously outmoded military history.

1/2

[caligulas_aquarium]

Oh my god, not now! I am tryin' to textually griewe here.

[He raises a hand, waving it as if to dismiss her. It only takes him the time necessary to hit one key on his husktop then the ball MOTHERFUCKING DROPS-]

[caligulas_aquarium]

[THAT CERTAINLY IS A NON-CORPSE KANAYA

LIKE

RIGHT BEHIND HIM

WOW

WHAT

SCRAMBLING TO HIS FEET

MAYBE ALMOST SLIPPING ON THESE STUPID PERFECTLY POLISHED MARBLE FLOORS

BUT HE DOESN'T FALL

GETS BACK HIS BALANCE THEN

HE TURNS AROUND AND JUST

WHAT]

Kan!?

[speakveryclearly]

"Eri?!"

[Badly mimicking his inflection.]

The last time I checked I was that girl you call Kan. [Entirely seriously she fingers the Virgo symbol on the clasp of her gown.] Again. Still Kanaya Maryam.

[caligulas_aquarium]

...

What's with the...uh...

[VAGUE GESTURE TO FACE

Glowwin now all of a sudden, what is this nonsense.

Ok good nonsense.

But nonsense nonetheless.]

[speakveryclearly]

[She grins, shining sharp, showing all eighty-seven or whatever of her fangs.]

Eridan, have you ever even seen a picture of a rainbow drinker.

[THERE SHE IS

SHE SAID IT

FUCK YES]

[caligulas_aquarium]

As a matter a fact I ain't ewer ewen touched one a those nowels a you-

[Waiiiiiit.]

You're serious.

[speakveryclearly]

[She opens her arms wide. She had waited her entire life to say this. And now it is over, or rather has truly begun.]

Undead serious.

[caligulas_aquarium]

[...]

I can't beliewe you just said that.

[He actually facepalms, he really does.]

Seriously, don't start makin' puns. For the lowe a god you're one a the few who still don't.

[speakveryclearly]

Oh, I promise that one was entirely intentional.

[She removes his hand from his face.]

If it means that much to you, I won't.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Yeah, well...I mean eweryone does them, y'know! Well, nearly eweryone, but they're just stupid an' ain't ewen half as funny as they think they are an' just...

[He trails off into silence, and just...see this stupid pouty child face.

This is his attempt to not look sad by looking angry face.]

I honestly thought you weren't comin' back.

[speakveryclearly]

I didn't think I was either.

[She dims a little, though when she puts her fingers to his face in an attempt to make him depout, they still glow.]

I said it before. It's not your fault.

[caligulas_aquarium]

...ok.

[Slightly less pouting goin' on.]

But don't die again. That's an order.

[speakveryclearly]

[A mocking salute.]

That would run quite contrary to my newfound nature as a creature of sunshine and sin. Just don't start any fires around me and I'll probably be alright.

I am serious about that. It's a significant weakness.